Friday, October 29, 2010

The Impulse

Women gets into a car with a man as they drive off.

M- Did you make sure nobody saw you?

F- Yes, relax! Nobody saw me.

M- Good, we'll be back in the states tomorrow, nobody will even know we were here.

F- That's how we planned it.

M- It ran well. He's going to wonder what happened when he gets home tomorrow.

F- That's what he gets for being so.....selfish with his money.

M- When you get to the states, you need to disappear for a while, in case they find a lead.

F- They didn't find anything, I made sure of it.

M- We can never be sure.

F- Yes! I did it perfectly, now i just need to get my share!

M- You lay low and you'll get your share.

F- NO! I can do whatever I want and I still get my share
(The man pulls over and parks in an alley)
M- Not if you're going to attract attention to yourself.

F- Who do you think you are trying to rip me off? I did what I was asked and I did it exactly as planned

M- I'm just trying to protect our a$$es because I don't want the FBI to show up on my front porch next week.

F- As I said before, you need to relax.

M- Relax eh? Do I looked relaxed to you? Yea I am, I've done this multiple times and every time we've been fine because we've been smart. You're being the idiot!

F- No I'm not

M- Keep talking and you'll never see your money

F- Why you little snitch
(women reaches for gun on her leg, Man grabs her and strangles her to death)
M- We'll that worked out for you didn't it? Guess that's more money for me!

1 comment:

  1. The Beat

    Action: Man wants to be safe from the cops. Women wants to get her money.

    Conflict: Man doesn't want to give her money because he is afraid that she'll be stupid and the cops will find out about them, but the women feels like she deserves the money because she did her job as she was told.

    Event: Women freaks out at the man and attempts to kill him, but the man kills here first.

    Changes: It could of been better if maybe it wasn't so confusing. If I had the ending happier, like have them settle and come to an agreement, or maybe have them get pulled over and arrested by some police. Another thing is, I shouldn't explain what was going on at the beginning.

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